sleeping is as important as waking

As one becomes aware at the conscious level, one also begins to discover the envy, the struggles, the desires, the motives, the anxieties that lie at the deeper levels of consciousness. When the mind is intent on discovering the whole process of itself, then every incident, every reaction becomes a means of discovery, of knowing oneself. That requires patient watchfulness - which is not the watchfulness of a mind that is constantly struggling, that is learning how to be watchful. Then you will see that the sleeping hours are as important as the waking hours, because life then is a total process. As long as you do not know yourself, fear will continue, and all the illusions that the self creates will flourish.

Search for experience -> reality ?

Experience nearly always forms a hardened centre in the mind, as the self, which is a deteriorating factor.

Most of us are seeking experience. We may be tired of the worldly experiences of fame, notoriety, wealth, sex, and so on, but we all want greater, wider experience of some kind, especially those of us who are attempting to reach a so-called spiritual state.

Being tired of worldly things, we want a more extensive, a wider, deeper experience; and to arrive at such an experience, we suppress, we control, we dominate ourselves, hoping thereby to achieve a full realization of God, or what you will. We think the pursuit of experience is the right way of life in order to attain greater vision, and I question whether that is so. Does this search for experience, which is really a demand for greater, fuller sensation, lead to reality? Or is it a factor which cripples the mind ?

bring new impulse into being !

As human beings we are all capable of inquiry, of discovery, and this whole process is meditation.

Meditation is inquiry into the very being of the meditator.

You cannot meditate without self-knowledge, without being aware of the ways of your own mind, from the superficial responses to the most complex subtleties of thought. I am sure it is not really difficult to know, to be aware of oneself, but it is difficult for most of us because we are so afraid to inquire, to grope, to search out.

Our fear is not of the unknown, but of letting go of the known. It is only when the mind allows the known to fade away that there is complete freedom from the known, and only then is it possible for the new impulse to come into being.

The self is still the self at any level you may place it

Can I be aware of my greed, of my envy, from moment to moment? These feelings are expressions of the 'me', of the self, are they not? The self is still the self at any level you may place it; whether it is the higher self or the lower self, it is still within the field of thought. And can I be aware of these things as they arise from moment to moment?

Can I discover for myself the activities of my ego when I am eating, talking at table, when I am playing, when I am listening, when I am with a group of people? Can I be aware of the accumulated resentments, of the desire to impress, to be somebody? Can I discover that I am greedy and be aware of my condemnation of greed? The very word greed is a condemnation, is it not? To be aware of greed is also to be aware of the desire to be free from it and to see why one wants to be free from it - the whole process. This is not a very complicated procedure; one can immediately grasp the whole significance of it.

So one begins to understand from moment to moment this constant growth of the 'me', with its self-importance, its self-projected activities - which is basically, fundamentally, the cause of fear. But you cannot take action to get rid of the cause; all you can do is to be aware of it. The moment you want to be free from the ego, that very desire is also part of the ego, so you have a constant battle in the ego over two desirable things, between the part that wants and the part that does not.

The uncovering of "Me" in relationship

When we are aware of ourselves, is not the whole movement of living a way of uncovering the 'me', the ego, the self? The self is a very complex process which can be uncovered only in relationship, in our daily activities, in the way we talk, the way we judge, calculate, the way we condemn others and ourselves. All that reveals the conditioned state of our own thinking; and is it not important to be aware of this whole process?

It is only through awareness of what is true from moment to moment that there is discovery of the timeless, the eternal. Without self-knowledge, the eternal cannot be. When we do not know ourselves, the eternal becomes a mere word, a symbol, a speculation, a dogma, a belief, an illusion to which the mind can escape. But, if one begins to understand the 'me' in all its various activities from day to day, then in that very understanding, without any effort, the nameless, the timeless, comes into being. But the timeless is not a reward for self-knowledge.

That which is eternal cannot be sought after; the mind cannot acquire it. It comes into being when the mind is quiet, and the mind can be quiet only when it is simple, when it is no longer storing up, condemning, judging, weighing. It is only the simple mind that can understand the real, not the mind that is full of words, knowledge, information.

The mind that analyses, calculates, is not a simple mind...