I am Afraid ( 13 Nov 2006)

I Am Afraid

My inquiry now is how to be free from the fear of the known, which is the fear of
losing my family, my reputation, my character, my bank account, my appetites and so
on. You may say that fear arises from conscience; but your conscience is formed by
your conditioning, so conscience is still the result of the known. What do I know?
Knowledge is having ideas, having opinions about things, having a sense of
continuity as in relation to the known, and no more....

There is fear of pain. Physical pain is a nervous response, but psychological pain
arises when I hold on to things that give me satisfaction, for then I am afraid of
anyone or anything that may take them away from me. The psychological accumulations
prevent psychological pain as long as they are undisturbed; that is, I am a bundle
of accumulations, experiences, which prevent any serious form of disturbance - and I
do not want to be disturbed. Therefore, I am afraid of anyone who disturbs them.
Thus my fear is of the known, I am afraid of the accumulations, physical or
psychological, that I have gathered as a means of warding off pain or preventing
sorrow.... Knowledge also helps to prevent pain. As medical knowledge helps to
prevent physical pain, so beliefs help to prevent psychological pain, and that is
why I am afraid of losing my beliefs, though I have no perfect knowledge or concrete
proof of the reality of such beliefs.

The Book of Life - November 13